Super Akatsuki World
by Clyde the Nightmare
Summary: A few days after escaping fron a bi polar freak, Zetsu finds himself in this odd place in front of a giant button with an exclamation on it and jumped on it. Now he has to fix with the help of Princess Blue. Naruto/Mario crossover.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: And this is a comedy with lemons, so be over 18( or at least mature enough to handle SEX. NIPPLE, if you laugh childishly, then get out),( I don't want to get complaints on my first story unless it is constructive criticism) and be nice, it is my first story written. 'Zetsu eat Tobi, spare Madara'

I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR MARIO OR LORD OF THE RINGS

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**Super Akatsuki World**

Wandering around one day, the peculiar two sided Venus flytrap member of the Akatsuki fell onto a dark secret that changed the entire world. It didn't have anything to do with Zetsu jumping in and out of green tubes that jutted from the ground, or the fact that there were question mark boxes suspended in mid air. No, it had to do with him finding a giant exclamation point button that he jumped on.

Our story begins one afternoon when Zetsu and Konan got as far away from the hideout as possible because a certain bipolar homicidal freak happened to be in the mood to say 'Tobi good boy', so everyone ran for their lives as soon as they saw the abomination of god. Zetsu and Konan escaping together. "Now what do we do, we're ten miles away from our hideout and we can't go back until the thing with the orange mask goes Madara again?" said the bitch with blue hair. Zetsu shrugged as one side thought something all men would think if a woman with curves asked them that while the other side halfway agreed with his irrational minded self.

"Well, we are all alone, why not make the most of it?... Please don't kill us!" he added, not wanting to die just yet.

"Awe, you're cute, how about I scratch you're back if you'll scratch mine," she flirted back to Zetsu.

Zetsu was actually stunned that Konan was actually flirting back, instead of her usual finger to the face technique, so here he was, paralyzed, at all of his dreams possibly coming true and the other person needed to fulfill this dream standing right in front of him.

"Are...You...Serious?" he said, head tilted, as soon as he could comprehend what just happened.

"Sure, why not, I mean, it is just you and me out here, so lets do it," she replied.

" Are you pulling our leg?" the Zetsu's said, unsure whether or not to trust her.

" No, but I could pull something close to your leg," she flirted, " Actually, Pein has been a little stubborn lately, so I was probably going to ask you if you could give me what I needed,"

A giant sweat drop appeared on the back of Zetsu's head as he listened to Konan's excuse for flirting with him, but he didn't really trust her one-hundred percent, so he replied, " ...um, do you mind if you go first, sorry, but we're a little on the shy side, so if you could prove that you aren't just trying to get us naked so you can sit comfortably and laugh while we try to put on our cloak and get embarrassed."

"Okay, on two conditions though; one, you keep quiet about this, and two, you have to start first next time," she said as she shrugged off her cloak.

Zetsu's mind was swimming as he heard about the second condition, but he managed to squeak out a shaky 'yes' to her condition.

She took off her fish-net shirt exposing her perfect breast, and presented the twins to Zetsu. Zetsu's eyes almost popped out of his head, underestimating how beautiful they were. Zetsu, was as any creature with two disagreeable sides and a Venus Flytrap on around his body, was a virgin. Konan then, saw some activity going on in Zetsu's pants and sauntered over to take a very close look. Her hand was delicate as it slipped into the darkness known as Zetsu's pants and grabbed the thing that was distorting the ripples of his attire. She took off Zetsu's cloak and saw that under the Venus flytrap, he had a six-pack. She began to stroke his member as she sweetly kissed him. Her kiss though, soon got a little fierce as she kissed him deeper and battled tongues with him, but Zetsu fought back in the tongue war as they called it a truce and went to more important parts other than the mouth. She slowly went down to see how his smaller self was doing, but found a monster ten inches long. Konan, then realized that she was curious how it tasted, considering he was half man and half plant. Then her mouth opened wide and her head went forward. Surprisingly, it tasted like fresh honey, but she was after the other kind of honey. She began to thrust forward, causing his member to hit the back of her mouth. Konan couldn't remember the last time she felt this good about having sex, but it probably beat her first time, considering her first time was with Pein. As she began to bob her head faster, Zetsu began to moan out of pleasure.

She began to let her tongue stroke the upper side of his member as she trusted further. Her throat was sore from his tip, so she changed her stance so she could get it deeper. It wasn't long before Zetsu got harder and Konan went faster, wanting his bounty. A large flow went into her and spilled out of her mouth. As she laughed and licked up what was left on her chin.

A few hours later, after they did each other's work, and because I am kind of running low on ideas, they went back to the lair and went to work on the plans for the Bijuu. A few days later, the climactic 'Naruto vs. Sasuke' battle went into play, which meant that Zetsu was on spy duty. Afterwards though, he took the long way around, not wanting to come into contact with Sasuke and ran into a strange cloud with a face on it while a yellowish turtle creature rode on top of it. Zetsu got a little curious at the strange ass thing, so he ate one or two of those pesky Lukitus for throwing spike balls. After a while, he came in contact with a strange green tube that had enough room to fit a 250 pound fat-ass wearing blue overalls and a red hat.

So anyways, out of sheer curiosity, Zetsu jumped into the tube and sunk into an underground palace. He had to admit that he was surprised when he found a floating box with a question mark circling it. By this time, Zetsu has been acting on curiosity alone and he wasn't going to stop now, so he slammed his head into the block and a coin fell out. He was amazed that he didn't have a concussion, but he was even more amazed that he got paid for destroying public property. So, he did it again and again and again. By about the thousandth time he did this, he got bored and moved on.

After about a minute of walking, Zetsu came across a giant red button with an exclamation point on it. So like anyone else with absolutely nothing to do, he jumped on it. Everything went blank, but it was refreshed except for the fact that everything was turned into a Mario game gone bad.

Zetsu awoke in his room, thinking it was a fun dream, but as he went to get his daily assignment from Pein, he noticed that the lair looked almost like it was part of an eight-bit video game, but figured that it was because he didn't get enough sleep. He walked into Pein's room to discuss his mission, only to walk into a room with a giant spike-studded turtle with Pein's pointy hair-style.

A little while later after Zetsu's scream woke everyone up, Pein called a meeting to discuss the resent changes in everyone's appearance. Deidara was so happy that he was a walking bob-omb that he nearly shit himself, while Sasori was wondering if being a chomp-chomp was still considered being art. Itachi was about to kill Zetsu for turning him into a miniature Banzai Bill, and Kisame was thinking about eating 'someone' when he saw that he was a cheep-cheep. Tobi practically pissed himself when he realized that he and Kakuzu were both Shy-guys. Hidan couldn't care less if he were a Dry Bones or not as long as he kept his scythe. Konan was laughing her ass off as she was Princess Peach and Pein was of course Bowser. Zetsu didn't really see a difference in being turned into Petey Piranha.

" Now," Pein continued, " It is necessary that we try to overcome our new differences in as little time as possible in order to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THESE DUMB ASS BODIES!!!"

" How exactly did we change into these things?" Kakuzu asked, believing that one of their own was to blame.

" M-Maybe it's all just a bad, or really annoying, dream?" Zetsu stuttered.

" Okay, then you wouldn't happen to feel this would you?" Itachi Bill said, chasing around Zetsu.

" CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP..." Zetsu yelled, running for his life, wondering if Itachi knew that he was responsible for everything. " We promise we had nothing to do with changing you... We didn't do it... don't kill us." Zetsu pleaded, correcting himself twice.

" What... did.. You... do?" Pein spoke with rising fury.

" We think that we may have changed our universe as we know it and the only way back would be to hit that switch again," Zetsu replied.

" Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so you're saying that you changed THIS universe?! So now the only way to get us back to normal is to go on an incredibly long journey?" Kisame complained.

" Yes, but it will take all of our bodies to get back to ourselves," Zetsu Piranha said diplomatically.

" The weird weed thing is right, this is going to take all of us." Peinser agreed while getting a jab at Zetsu Piranha.

"Umm... thanks, but this is serious! Who will follow us on our rigorous quest."

A long pause.

" I will follow" Princess Blue spoke from behind everyone.

" My angel? Why?" Peinser pleaded.

" Someone's got to help Zetsu Piranha on his quest to get the ring into the mountain... I mean change us back, besides, I am an angle of darkness." she played as if she wasn't carrying the one ring to rule them all.

" If you must, I understand," Peinser said softly.

" We must leave soon, the button is far," Zetsu Piranha intruded.

As Princess Blue readied herself with a month supply of tampons and enough food scrolls to kill a whale, Zetsu Piranha readied himself with a map that he found with a strange 'M' on it, and some human sacrifice scrolls. In about an hour, both were ready to fight the unknown and accomplish only God knows what... in the next chapter!!!

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A/N # 2: Coming next month, or in a few days, or whenever my computer starts to work again. P.S. Zagger the angel of hell IS in fact my step-brother and I have learned some writing from him, don't blame me, blame him.J.K. 'Zetsu eat Tobi, spare Madarra'


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: sorry that I haven't put out this chapter sooner, Zagger has been busy with like ten stories, and then I saved wrong and it completely screwed it up. Oh, and I do rip on the Mario games a lot, but I actually like the games, but anyways 'Zetsu eat Tobi, spare Madara'

I DON'T OWN MARIO OR NARUTO

Super Akatsuki World- Chapter 2

" That is it... I have had enough of these mother fucking goombas in this mother fucking road." Princess Blue yelled in fury as the forces the goomba army ambushed the duo.

" We can't believe it, there has got to be at least three more of these little bastards than the last ambush that we fell into." Zetsu Piranha commented as he killed another one by stepping on it.

" Wait... how many does that make?" Princess Blue asked, slightly ashamed that she lost count and the fact that she was the best of the Akatsuki when it came to math.

" Umm... We think that all together this ambush has been... five," Zetsu Piranha said, somewhat unsure if that was correct as he got ready to kill the last mushroom defect.

" Well why were we getting attacked so much?" Princess Blue asked afterwards

" We don't know, according to this map, we should be in the happy sunshine forest of lollipops and candy canes," Zetsu Piranha replied.

" Let me see that..." Princess Blue said, taking the map marked with a 'M' on it, "... See, we are in... the Forest of Illusions, thanks a lot retard,"

" How were we supposed to know, it's only our job to know the lay of the land and to use that knowledge to our sagacious self." Zetsu Piranha spoke idiotically.

" And you don't understand why your job involves being able to read maps correctly?" Princess Blue queried.

" No we do not, " Zetsu Piranha replied proudly while Princess Blue sweat dropped and was about to kick the crap out of him until she remembered that only Zetsu knew the way to the button and she didn't want to be a slut in a pink dress for the rest of her life.

So they started to walk when all of a sudden, Zetsu started to whistle a peculiarly upbeat tune that seemed to belong to some sort of unnamed game. After he had finished his enjoyable melody, Princess Blue decided to ask her two part question. " Okay, the narrator is right, one, when and where the hell did you learn to whistle, and what is that song about?"

" Oh, well we learned to whistle back when we were a ninja at Kusa in order to blend in to my background, and the song is of ancient times about two legendary brothers that were plumbers because back then plumbers were godly. But anyways, the brothers named Marco and Louie were on a journey to save the beautiful Princess Apple from the evil clutches of the dragon dictator, Lord Brawler... we think?" Zetsu tried to remember flawlessly but failing pitifully.

" Oh god no, we are all doomed!" Zetsu spoke noticing a large flag pole with a green flag and a white peace sign printed on it standing right in front of them. " We can't believe it, now we can never get out of these bodies... this pole will surely destroy us both, what do we do? How will we be able to prevail? This is truly our end, Princess Blue hold me!" Zetsu started to sulk.

" What the fuck... are you telling me that we aren't going further because of a fucking pole?! What do we tell everyone else... 'sorry guys, but we got beat by a POLE?! 'And since when are you getting deterred by a stick in the ground?!" Princess Blue yelled at Zetsu.

" Well that was our plan from the beginning. Get some sort of pathetic excuse to stop walking and tell everyone else that it was a lost cause." Zetsu said calmly as Princess Blue sweat dropped again.

" That's it, Zetsu Piranha, you are walking passed that pole or else I will kick your balls in so hard that your great grandchildren will all be female, do you understand?!" Princess Blue said with a tick mark the size of a grapefruit.

So, as any man who didn't want to lose his pride-and-joy, Zetsu sauntered over passed the flagpole just to finish level 1-1.

" Okay then, so what level do we go to now navigator?" Princess Blue asked as they stood on the menu page.

" Well, since you know that I can move our physical body away when we do the bijuu extraction, it is time that you know what I do when Pein tells us to go watch for enemies..." Zetsu started, "... You see, what we do is blow everyone else back at the cave and go spend all of Kakuzu's money at the arcade."

" Oh yeah, I remember that day... Kakuzu got so pissed off that he almost murdered Deidara" Princess Blue recalled.

" Yeah, that was actually me." Zetsu replied.

" YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!! I WAS GOING TO MAKE A CAKE BUT GOT HELD IN KAKUZU'S LITTLE INTERAGATION CELL WHILE YOU GOT OFF SCOT-FREE!!!" Princess Blue yelled, about to bite off Zetsu's head.

Zetsu was going to say something about how the Konan that he knew could blow up water but in his mind, he saw a little chibi Zetsu and a chibi Konan. The little Zetsu told the mini Konan about her crappy cooking, but then the Konan ripped off Zetsu's head and started to dance and singing covered in Zetsu's blood on top of the recently mangled corpse. Then Zetsu in real life thought of Plan B which was to tell Konan to calm the fuck down and then call her a bitch, but then she started to kiss him. " Wait, did I add that right?" Zetsu thought. So he added his plan together again, which got results so devastatingly horrifying, that it made Orochimaru, Rock Lee, Guy Sensei, the Tellitubies, Barney, and Rosie O'Donald all wearing bright pink sequin leotards that are skin tight and they are having a gay orgy while you are stuck in Tsukyomi and listening to 'Barbie Girl' look tame.

" I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to get caught in the cross-fire, I just wanted to show him how pathetic his laser-guarded, two-foot thick concrete walled, digital, finger-print access paneled, movement-sensor guarded safe was." Zetsu apologized.

Princess Blue just stared at Zetsu with the biggest WTF look and a sweat drop that was covering one third of her face. " ...But when we were at the arcade, there was this one game that we played the most about this little red and blue mustached man that was a lot like the story about the tune we whistled, and when you beat level 1-1, you went to level 1-2, and there were about ten levels to one world, but what does that have to do with anything?" Zetsu asked.

" Oh my god, Zetsu, I think that game is the one that we are stuck in now!" Princess Blue realized.

" Well in that case, we think that we are boned, because we could never beat the final level, the dragon boss was simply too difficult," Zetsu replied.

" I guess that we will just worry about that when the time comes?" Princess Blue replied.

" We guess so," Zetsu agreed as they walked onward to the next stage.

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Back at the cave, Peinser and the rest of the Akatsuki were training in order to help their comrades in the highly likely event of this happening again, but Peinser looked like he had a different motif for their training, and was satisfied when Chain Sas-Sasori learned his art of destroying all existence of anything, which he liked to call 'Sas-Sasori's Fatal Art: Ultimate Destruction Jutsu' and Deida-omb found his art known as 'Deida-omb's Revival Art: Exploding Phoenix Jutsu' which could allow him to blow up and yet still be alive. Kis-Kisame was working hard on his 'Kis-Kisame Fish Jutsu: Death Swallow' which was basically Kis-Kisame eating through a bulldozer,and Itachi Bill was getting the hang of 'Itachi Bill Jutsu: Explosive Rampage' which equals Itachi Bill ramming into his foe, which sends them upward, then Itachi creates six clones, all fixed on the enemies focal points, then the clones smash into the foe at about one-hundred miles per hour and explode at impact. Dry Hidan was using a variation off of his old attack pattern called 'Dry Hidan Jutsu: Glorious Desentigration' where he gets his opponents blood the usual way, then he creates his seal of Jashiin, finally, he falls apart within the seal and crushes his victim in their own skin, while Kakuzu-Guy was trying to find some goomba hearts to use as his own, meanwhile Shy-Tobi was looking for Deida-omb to test out his newest creation 'Shy-Tobi Jutsu: Annoying Hug of Death'.

Peinser learned that he could still use human jutsu, but strangely enough, he could only use fire technique. But that didn't mean he couldn't create his jutsu, one of which was gathering all six of his bodies and using 'Peinser Enjoyable Jutsu: Simutanious Feasting' which had all of his bodies burn the enemy to a crispy pulp, which was then feasted upon by the said six Peinsers. Another technique that he was working on was where five of the six bodies hold the foe by the arms, legs, and head, then the final body does a downward spike similar to that of 'Secondary Lotus' and rips through the opponent's body called, 'Peinser Ultimatum: Hell Spike'. In the midst of their training, they didn't even notice Orochicobrat and MagiKabuto spying on their activities, learning their abilities. Orochicobrat then noticed a giant fireball aimed toward his head and dodged it with little time to spare, and he realized that Peinser spotted him. MagiKabuto was following Orochicobrat like a shadow, so he survived, until he realized that Chain Sas-Sasori was gnawing on something, and then realized that it was his body and that he had been decapitated.

" Well, well, well, if it isn't Orochicobrat, if you want to hang out with us again, then you might want to get a rope, because the only way that you will hang with us is by your neck," Peinser spoke mennisingly.

Orochicobrat seemed a little agitated that he was both caught, threatened, and his right-hand man was incapacitated, but then he realized that he was getting crushed from all sides, and the last thing that he heard was Peinser yelling, " Damn it Tobi, why did you have to hug him, we could have gotten information from him!"

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" Congratulations, you reached level 8-1," a strange voice enveloped the duo.

" See, we told you that the flute would bring us to the final world," Zetsu bragged.

" Okay, fine," Princess Blue replied as she gave Zetsu the 1,000 ryo that was betted on. "... But I have been wondering, why do you always use plurals when you talk about yourself?"

" Oh, well we believe that since we are basically two different people in the same venus flytrap, it would be best if we said the word 'we' was used..."

Black Zetsu said,"... Because of this predicament, we tend to argue opinions and don't like to be considered the same person... "

The White Zetsu went on, "... Though it is true and inevitable to get confused with..."

Black Zetsu interrupted,"... Don't interrupt me dickhole..."

" ...Shut up ass rammer..."

"...No, you shut up cock muncher..."

"...No, you shut u-"

" BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!!" Princess Blue interjected after choking down her laughter on the names he was calling himself, " Now, I believe that if either of you want to leave this adventure with your ability to reproduce that you work together and get this over with."

So the two walked onward in order to finally get out of their bodies and press the red button that lie in their future. Coming in the next installment of Super Akatsuki World.


End file.
